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Monday, July 25, 2011

Twenty-Five Reasons Why I’m Not in the Tea Party

1.     I enjoy roads.
2.     I know how to read and write because a public school taught me.
3.     I can spell.
4.     I want the government to inspect my food so it doesn’t kill me, make me sick, or turn me into a zombie.
5.     When I’m old, I’d like to be able to afford to go to the doctor, and I want other elderly people to be able to do the same.
6.     Because some day I’d like to be able to see Yellowstone National Park without it being covered by parking lots.
7.     I have an adequate grasp of history, also thanks to public schools.
8.     For an anti-taxation group, they don’t know anything about taxes.
9.     Because I understand, like FDR did, that taxes are the dues that you pay to live in an actual civilised society.
10.  I think it’s a good thing that corporations can’t force us to work an arbitrarily large number of hours.
11.  I enjoy working in a place where I know that machines aren’t going to be randomly collapsing all around me.
12.  I like when the government does things.
13.  I don’t think that Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are smart.
14.  I’m not a witch.
15.  Because if I wanted to be a witch, I could since I’m not in the Tea Party.
16.  I’m aware of diplomacy.
17.  I’m also aware that the United States can’t do everything alone.
18.  Because Blackwater USA already showed us what a private military would look like.
19.  Because zombie apocalypses don’t stop themselves. The CDC stops them.
20.  I’m writing this post on the Internet, and I understand how that came about.
21.  Since I understand history because I went to a public school, as stated above, I also understand what the United States would look like without the Post Office (see the Postman). Hint: there probably wouldn’t be one; a United States, that is.
22.  I like that there are air traffic controllers in airport towers.
23.  Because, would you really trust a corporation in place of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Association?
24.  I believe that tea bagging is supposed to be consensual.
25.  Because I write for a blog titled, “The Liberal Mob.”


  1. wow!#24 really????

  2. Reasons 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20, 23, 24, and 25 are completely hollow and don't even make a point other than calling corporations 'greedy', and confusing the term 'socialism' with 'government. Also the 'tea bagging' wasn't particularly helpful in making your point either.

  3. Thanks for the feedback! We appreciate your support by reading our blogposts. Of course you realize that this particular post was not substantive, nor was it designed to promote any policy positions. It was just for a good laugh. Of course, humor is subjective so you are well within your bounds to not find it funny. While it is important to be critical of others in a democracy, we hope that you will take your ability to give high powered critiques and focus it on the Tea Party. Because no matter what any of us believe politically, we are all doomed if we do not have a government that is capable and willing to govern. Cheers, and thanks again for reading and commenting.

  4. Because I attended public school and paid attention in my history class, so now I know that anything left of center does not necessarily constitute socialism.